"Leave the liars alone, for they are just a waste of time. But destroy those who believed in every words that would come out of the liars mouth, for they are much more worst than the liars..."
I am a nobody, you have a problem with that? I enjoy being a nobody, I am happy with this... but it looks and feels like that I am not just a nobody to you. For you always speaks and talked about me behind my nobody back with the others like you, who sees themselves as being a somebody. And because of that it seems that I have become somewhat, being more than just a nobody to you. Else, I would just be ignored and not being talked about and be forgotten? I am not even close to you and most I don't even really knows who you are, yet it seems like you knows who I am, in and out. I am very much flattered by that... me being a nobody... And I thank you for that... Giving me all that attentions... really, I don't need those. I just like to be a nobody...
But I always find myself in the spotlight, even if I didn't want to. In truth, I really hate to be in that place. It is not I, who put myself in that position but I couldn't helped it if some others placed me there... me being a nobody. I always tend to be just who I am, a nobody. Do what I can do, which a nobody would normally do. But you, being a somebody. You always like to attract my attention, me being a nobody... Please, I beg you! Don't waste too much time with me. For I, being just a nobody, would just ignore you. For you are a somebody. I am much much more lower than you are... So, please stop flattering me... It's killing me!
Why would you always like to compare me to the likes of you who are a somebody, when I am just a nobody to you? We could never be the same for I am just a nobody. I cannot be compared to the likes of you, who sweat a lot to be somebody, I rather do things my way, the nobody way... now, off you go...
Hmm... Why are you are still here? Do you need something from a nobody like me?
I'll just tell you something, if that's what you like... I enjoy looking my nobody self in the mirror, why? For, I find happiness in seeing my nobody reflection in the mirror. I am content for I know that the one I see in front of me is this nobody me. And I would continue to be happy and not change that nobody into somebody, for that would not be the nobody me anymore, if I change that reflection of me into somebody. Now, I ask you... What do you see when you try to look yourself in the mirror?... What?... It scared you?, Why?... Ah' you are afraid of seeing your face? ah' it's not that? Sorry... So... What is the reason?... WHAT!!! Because you don't cast any reflection in the mirror?... Now, now, don't get panic over that one... I'll tell you why... No!... you are not a vampire, you dumbass! haha... You don't cast any reflection because... Well, there is none to cast in the first place, for you are... NOTHING!
^_^ Geez, and you thought that you are a vampire all this time... ahaha! Aren't we stupid? ^_^
Monday, July 14, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Hell is already here...
Here I am, six feet under the ground... Well, maybe it's much more deeper than that... For I had been trying hard to crawl back to the surface for more than 3 years now... after being laid under the ground by the evilness of this world... I had somewhat been thinking while lying here... What if I am only dreaming now? And all this is nothing but just an illusions...
Somehow, my dark heart still beats slowly and keeping me alive. And from where I was laid... that, from time to time, I could hear voices and the scenery would be shown in front of me... this is all but an illusion too, but to vivid for it to be unreal... As if somehow I was already back on the surface I once knew... But this can't be real, for humans doesn't seems to act like one... So, I must still be dreaming and still trapped under...
I tried to search for those which are somehow been engraved to the very farthest corner of my mind now... and also the places which I am most familiar with...
So, where would they be now?
I tried looking at all known places I could think of, but it's strange to be this place now. Somethings have changed but somehow it still had the same appearance. It's a gloomy dark places to been in, even at noon time and everything is bright. It's clean but some foul odor is emitting somewhere and being carried by the wind... Flowers are too perfect, like it's artificially made out of plastic but not. If it's real then how come there's no smell coming out of them?... And the habitants are somewhat a bit too odd... Everyone seems to act... well... too perfect in every movement they make and the way they talk... I say, everyone seems to be acting way too human to be one... and the faces doesn't seems to have any other expressions but only the one you would see in them... I tried conversing to some of them, but somehow it makes no sense of the words that would come out of their mouth...
No sense at all, as if all had a tongue of a holy being... others preached but somehow they are only preaching themselves with the words they speak... And words would come out but their own words doesn't reach there own ears... I laughed so hard for it's somewhat really funny to see them, acting so wise but too dumb to understand their own words... I feel... I could really die now...
Maybe, I shouldn't think of dying that time... For I am now back again to where I started, under the ground... silence once again engulfed me... maybe I should just try to crawl some more...
Seems like I'm making no progress here... like I'm still at the same exact spot where I started crawling... but maybe not... And very soon I will rise again and stand my ground, before the sleeping lake of fire once again take over and reign this world... to see this world one last time with my very own eyes, to my own liking like before. But leaving everything behind me now and creating a new beautiful scenes for my last stage.
So, don't die before me. After all, you got nowhere to go, for this world is the very hell itself that you have made me accustomed to. Will you be able to adopt to this? I doubt you will...
私は私の墓にあなたを呼びます。
終わり。
Somehow, my dark heart still beats slowly and keeping me alive. And from where I was laid... that, from time to time, I could hear voices and the scenery would be shown in front of me... this is all but an illusion too, but to vivid for it to be unreal... As if somehow I was already back on the surface I once knew... But this can't be real, for humans doesn't seems to act like one... So, I must still be dreaming and still trapped under...
I tried to search for those which are somehow been engraved to the very farthest corner of my mind now... and also the places which I am most familiar with...
So, where would they be now?
I tried looking at all known places I could think of, but it's strange to be this place now. Somethings have changed but somehow it still had the same appearance. It's a gloomy dark places to been in, even at noon time and everything is bright. It's clean but some foul odor is emitting somewhere and being carried by the wind... Flowers are too perfect, like it's artificially made out of plastic but not. If it's real then how come there's no smell coming out of them?... And the habitants are somewhat a bit too odd... Everyone seems to act... well... too perfect in every movement they make and the way they talk... I say, everyone seems to be acting way too human to be one... and the faces doesn't seems to have any other expressions but only the one you would see in them... I tried conversing to some of them, but somehow it makes no sense of the words that would come out of their mouth...
No sense at all, as if all had a tongue of a holy being... others preached but somehow they are only preaching themselves with the words they speak... And words would come out but their own words doesn't reach there own ears... I laughed so hard for it's somewhat really funny to see them, acting so wise but too dumb to understand their own words... I feel... I could really die now...
Maybe, I shouldn't think of dying that time... For I am now back again to where I started, under the ground... silence once again engulfed me... maybe I should just try to crawl some more...
Seems like I'm making no progress here... like I'm still at the same exact spot where I started crawling... but maybe not... And very soon I will rise again and stand my ground, before the sleeping lake of fire once again take over and reign this world... to see this world one last time with my very own eyes, to my own liking like before. But leaving everything behind me now and creating a new beautiful scenes for my last stage.
So, don't die before me. After all, you got nowhere to go, for this world is the very hell itself that you have made me accustomed to. Will you be able to adopt to this? I doubt you will...
私は私の墓にあなたを呼びます。
終わり。
I smell bad...
Asking a lot of questions, which most of the time the answers are already in your face. Though you always know that it is already there, you still ask this question. Why? 'cause you never bother to understand what is already shown in your face. Why do you ask such question, when you wouldn't understand even when I already answered this question time and time again Or doesn't even have the idea of what is being shown to you? I think we can understand each other if we are on the same league.
Maybe you are on a higher league than I am. But I don't care about your league 'cause it's where you belong. And I belong on my own. You ask me who am I?, Do you think that would help you understand who I really am? I have much better things to say though I wouldn't bother to say these things for you wouldn't understand what I am about to say.
And now, I'm just going in circle again with what I am saying here... ^_^
Anyway...
Maybe you think that you know such things about my league, but in reality it's somewhat complicated. It never is, just like life is. Or this world and its habitant. To be humble and you'll be belittled by most, to say a bit more and you'll be seen as an arrogant being. You'll never know where to place yourself in this fucked up world...
How do you see humans with your own eyes? I bet, you think that you are always much better than the rest, now I say that you are beginning to be a real human being by that attitude. You think you are better at judging other beings than the rest, and so am I? Everyone is... It is in our nature to be like that.
We are all animals trying to survive in this world... though we wouldn't like to be called that or in that category and doesn't like the idea that most of the time we are much more worst than the other animals. Most of the time we stink really bad but doesn't really knows it or are really not bothered by the smell 'cause you are already used to that odor that you have? ^_^;
I think, uhm... what is that smell? woah! I think I better head to the showers now! ^_^;
Maybe you are on a higher league than I am. But I don't care about your league 'cause it's where you belong. And I belong on my own. You ask me who am I?, Do you think that would help you understand who I really am? I have much better things to say though I wouldn't bother to say these things for you wouldn't understand what I am about to say.
And now, I'm just going in circle again with what I am saying here... ^_^
Anyway...
Maybe you think that you know such things about my league, but in reality it's somewhat complicated. It never is, just like life is. Or this world and its habitant. To be humble and you'll be belittled by most, to say a bit more and you'll be seen as an arrogant being. You'll never know where to place yourself in this fucked up world...
How do you see humans with your own eyes? I bet, you think that you are always much better than the rest, now I say that you are beginning to be a real human being by that attitude. You think you are better at judging other beings than the rest, and so am I? Everyone is... It is in our nature to be like that.
We are all animals trying to survive in this world... though we wouldn't like to be called that or in that category and doesn't like the idea that most of the time we are much more worst than the other animals. Most of the time we stink really bad but doesn't really knows it or are really not bothered by the smell 'cause you are already used to that odor that you have? ^_^;
I think, uhm... what is that smell? woah! I think I better head to the showers now! ^_^;
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Stations of the Cross
This blog is a part of The Church of St. John The Evangelist section I am doing out of boredom ^_^;. This church is located in Tanauan City, Batangas here in the Philippines. You could visit the the stations at the backyard of this church almost anytime during the day... I think...
I had been visiting this part of the church with some my cousins who are much older than me during those time when I was still innocent and to this day at the time of this writing... They are still much older than me hehe...
Somewhat I miss those time and scenery and wanted to see that part of the church again... It`s been a long time since the last I saw or visited the church here... Well, with the exception of now and then family funeral mass and it would really not be the right time to walk around the church isn`t it? Anyway... to continue...
So, what I did this morning was to annoy my niece who was watching tv at that time to come with me and visit the backyard of the local church. Upon hearing that I wanted to go there, she laughs and made fun of me and my idea... If only you really knows me for so long or that you are really one of my closest friend then you`ll either be surprised or won`t believe it... some crazy idea comes popping out of my mind now and then... but to some who doesn`t see the real me, they`ll see it as just normal to have an interest in going to church ^_^;.
What I have here is a collection to some of the images that I had taken earlier this morning with my two devilish niece... A few notes, which I like to share here... The Stations of the Cross are usually depicted as only of 14 series which ends the station when Jesus was buried, but here in the Philippines where most are Roman Catholics, and although not part of the the traditional sets, it consisted of 15 stations with the Resurrection of Christ as being the last... Now, how did I know that? from wikipedia, read this section for more info ^_^;. Those devilish niece of mine says it`s 12 hehe...
And for the time being, I could only show the 14 stations `cause I ran out of memory from taking extra shots with those two in it and ended not including the resurrection...
I could say that this section is still incomplete for now...
My vox section of the Stations of the Cross for the other images...
I had been visiting this part of the church with some my cousins who are much older than me during those time when I was still innocent and to this day at the time of this writing... They are still much older than me hehe...
Somewhat I miss those time and scenery and wanted to see that part of the church again... It`s been a long time since the last I saw or visited the church here... Well, with the exception of now and then family funeral mass and it would really not be the right time to walk around the church isn`t it? Anyway... to continue...
So, what I did this morning was to annoy my niece who was watching tv at that time to come with me and visit the backyard of the local church. Upon hearing that I wanted to go there, she laughs and made fun of me and my idea... If only you really knows me for so long or that you are really one of my closest friend then you`ll either be surprised or won`t believe it... some crazy idea comes popping out of my mind now and then... but to some who doesn`t see the real me, they`ll see it as just normal to have an interest in going to church ^_^;.
What I have here is a collection to some of the images that I had taken earlier this morning with my two devilish niece... A few notes, which I like to share here... The Stations of the Cross are usually depicted as only of 14 series which ends the station when Jesus was buried, but here in the Philippines where most are Roman Catholics, and although not part of the the traditional sets, it consisted of 15 stations with the Resurrection of Christ as being the last... Now, how did I know that? from wikipedia, read this section for more info ^_^;. Those devilish niece of mine says it`s 12 hehe...
And for the time being, I could only show the 14 stations `cause I ran out of memory from taking extra shots with those two in it and ended not including the resurrection...
I could say that this section is still incomplete for now...
My vox section of the Stations of the Cross for the other images...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
My First Month of 2008
It`s been for quite some time now since the last time I posted a blog... well, nobody cares really...
The first month of this 2008 seems to be a very busy start of the year for me... I kinda like the sound of that... it feels like my whole year will be busy this time unlike last year which seems to be like I could really wanna die out of boredom and shits stuffed that happens during the last couple of month of 2007, besides that I don`t have a computer to tinker with except with this 166mhz... besides being old... the ps/2 port are somewhat screwed up and I could not find a spare serial mouse type at some or almost all pc shops... I had to content myself with using the mousekeys and it`s really ackward to use... but the good thing about it is I kinda learned/knows almost all of the shortcut keys from windows which are somewhat cool... and I kinda been used to it that even though there`s a mouse I could use at some other computers I could get my hands on, that I would still be using shortcuts... I think it`s much faster than moving and clicking the mouse...
Anyway... I celebrate my x-mas and new year back home in BF with my mom and a couple of old friends... same old xmas stuffed and scenario... drink till the sun start to rise... and New Year`s are somewhat different... I always used to watch Igor lights up all the firecrackers we had during New Year eve, but this time there`s no firecracker but instead it was replaced by his fire poi? forgot what it`s called, but it`s nice to watch him err... with some other kids who gathers around ignorant (I think I`m also one of them hehehe...) of what the heck he is holding and doing some exhibition with it and some extra fire breathing talent... The kids are in awe... They kinda like watching him than all these firecrackers around us... after that both of us went back to our own home and afterwards I went to some friends house and had some drinking session... During my holiday stay there err... it was a bit ok... It`s not what it used to be... but what I really like when staying there is that I`m able to go and hang out at some bar in BF with Francis hehehe... Good thing we where able to do that at least once before I went back home to the province...
Well... back here at some province again...
The first thing I did when I went back here was bought some paint at some hardware store and so I could paint my room for the new year, So my room would be or feel somewhat new too. I painted it with violet, why? uhm... well, I like to paint it with that color...
I thought painting some wall was an easy task... I was wrong... It was really tough and agonizing job for me... it took me 3 days to finished painting all the wall in my room... I had to stop `cause my whole body really ache so bad after the first day, especially at my shoulder and leg parts... besides that I had to move back and forth some of the stuffed in my room... so I could paint them all... including this long computer table you see below in the picture.
After that paint project, for my next one... I went back and forth to manila for some stuff so could make my other computer work again, I was supposed to do this before the 2007 end but I was being to lazy to look for parts back then. And now I was finally able to run this Fedora without much of a hassle from some of my hardware, thanks to yum and the other repo site like livna and those extras from fedora itself that I was able to install and set up my video card and some other stuffed(including the tv tuner I had) with ease unlike before... It`s been a week from now since and much of the settings are a ok... I was able to finally make the saa7130 tv tuner to work the other night from fedora...
Well, I`m really quite happy now that my lab is finally reborn... at the same time with a new look at my room... and as for the 166, I won`t return it to the box for now... It`s really been useful for me for the last couple of months... taught me a lot of things... And that I was able to refresh my memories with some programming language using it... Including c++ and SDL which in fact I was in the process now of making an old style 2d role playing game as a hobby... for now it`s at the messy infant stage but it can already load map, characters, and conversation/dialog from external data file. Doing it slowly and easy at the moment... well, without a mouse to work with during that time... it`s really making me work slowly specially with the test map graphics... ^_^;
So, that`s about it for my First month of this 2008 year...
The first month of this 2008 seems to be a very busy start of the year for me... I kinda like the sound of that... it feels like my whole year will be busy this time unlike last year which seems to be like I could really wanna die out of boredom and shits stuffed that happens during the last couple of month of 2007, besides that I don`t have a computer to tinker with except with this 166mhz... besides being old... the ps/2 port are somewhat screwed up and I could not find a spare serial mouse type at some or almost all pc shops... I had to content myself with using the mousekeys and it`s really ackward to use... but the good thing about it is I kinda learned/knows almost all of the shortcut keys from windows which are somewhat cool... and I kinda been used to it that even though there`s a mouse I could use at some other computers I could get my hands on, that I would still be using shortcuts... I think it`s much faster than moving and clicking the mouse...
Anyway... I celebrate my x-mas and new year back home in BF with my mom and a couple of old friends... same old xmas stuffed and scenario... drink till the sun start to rise... and New Year`s are somewhat different... I always used to watch Igor lights up all the firecrackers we had during New Year eve, but this time there`s no firecracker but instead it was replaced by his fire poi? forgot what it`s called, but it`s nice to watch him err... with some other kids who gathers around ignorant (I think I`m also one of them hehehe...) of what the heck he is holding and doing some exhibition with it and some extra fire breathing talent... The kids are in awe... They kinda like watching him than all these firecrackers around us... after that both of us went back to our own home and afterwards I went to some friends house and had some drinking session... During my holiday stay there err... it was a bit ok... It`s not what it used to be... but what I really like when staying there is that I`m able to go and hang out at some bar in BF with Francis hehehe... Good thing we where able to do that at least once before I went back home to the province...
Well... back here at some province again...
The first thing I did when I went back here was bought some paint at some hardware store and so I could paint my room for the new year, So my room would be or feel somewhat new too. I painted it with violet, why? uhm... well, I like to paint it with that color...
I thought painting some wall was an easy task... I was wrong... It was really tough and agonizing job for me... it took me 3 days to finished painting all the wall in my room... I had to stop `cause my whole body really ache so bad after the first day, especially at my shoulder and leg parts... besides that I had to move back and forth some of the stuffed in my room... so I could paint them all... including this long computer table you see below in the picture.
After that paint project, for my next one... I went back and forth to manila for some stuff so could make my other computer work again, I was supposed to do this before the 2007 end but I was being to lazy to look for parts back then. And now I was finally able to run this Fedora without much of a hassle from some of my hardware, thanks to yum and the other repo site like livna and those extras from fedora itself that I was able to install and set up my video card and some other stuffed(including the tv tuner I had) with ease unlike before... It`s been a week from now since and much of the settings are a ok... I was able to finally make the saa7130 tv tuner to work the other night from fedora...
Well, I`m really quite happy now that my lab is finally reborn... at the same time with a new look at my room... and as for the 166, I won`t return it to the box for now... It`s really been useful for me for the last couple of months... taught me a lot of things... And that I was able to refresh my memories with some programming language using it... Including c++ and SDL which in fact I was in the process now of making an old style 2d role playing game as a hobby... for now it`s at the messy infant stage but it can already load map, characters, and conversation/dialog from external data file. Doing it slowly and easy at the moment... well, without a mouse to work with during that time... it`s really making me work slowly specially with the test map graphics... ^_^;
So, that`s about it for my First month of this 2008 year...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)