My Leah and Mogi Dead! Killed By A Lightning...

It’s a sad day for me, I didn’t expect this… My Leah and Mogi died unexpectedly late this afternoon… Both of them just suddenly fell silent beside me and Ayu after a loud lightning strike somewhere around the area… err… Leah and Mogi is my other box I used, a dual boot system. Leah being my router and a firewall at the same time and Mogi is my win2k box, yup… They are both computers…^_^; so, anybody wanna lament with me and give me a spare of their old motherboards and maybe some extra processor? as they are kinda old now… I think I’ll be upgrading to a new one instead of returning them from the land of the dead… soon, but not that soon! I’m already missing both of them so very much! *sigh* ^_^;

There’s been a typhoon here in the Philippines since the other day, There is only one lightning strike I heard this afternoon and that one lightning killed them both though it was far from our area but it was really loud… But due to the power surge and spikes that it ‘caused… Man, I should have remember that I was in the province and on higher grounds than in Manila… poor cabling and shitty stuffed around here… and the ground to the electricity was not that good enough… Last year, I told them to let someone check the wiring and the ground around the house…As I’ve noticed that the grounds here are a little bit strong/high, I’ve kinda noticed that it was really a bit much higher than back home in the city as I was usually being grounded most of the time when fixing my computers which never happens to me when I am at the city, there are times that even the casing would ground you whenever you touched them…

So, that’s about it for this one… It’s a little bit quiet and sad around here at the moment but glad that Ayu is still around to keep me company… and a bit cautious now, as there are no Leah to protect us at the moment… ^_^;

Anyway… just a reminder… to me! ^_^;

Might as well turn off and pull the plug off of your computer or television sets when there is a thunder storm in your area… especially that I’m on higher grounds where the lightning could strike really low… yeah! A one in a million chance that the things I just said would happen to you… I’ve kinda said that to myself, now I’m crying over my Leah and Mogi, and now… the rain started to pour hard again, and I’m still online with Ayu, I never learned ^_^; Might as well finished this one fast… Even if you have surge protector there would be times that even it could not protect you… and I’ve read somewhere that even an unplugged laptop which only runs on its battery is not safe, as long as it’s connected to its cable… yup… Cable, Modem attached to a phone line are some that would likely be the ‘cause of your computers death when there is a lightning… uhm… I think my external modem is the ‘cause of my Leah and Mogi’s death, or the cable, I don’t know which one but It must have been the modem as I forgot to turned it off… and all it’s light going crazy when I did… Ayu, my other pc is not affected at all… ‘Cause the modem is not connected to her nor the cable… but the power outlet could also be the cause, mind you… Even humans can store and charge up enough static to ‘cause trouble when you are fixing your boards, that’s why we usually would ground ourselves before touching and fixing anything from our board… Now… I know now why the company I worked with before that creates microchips wouldn’t let us in the company if we don’t take our shoes off and change to our required sandals/flip-flops and wear a plastic to cover our feet ^_^;

Anyway… just be on the safe side… Turned everything off and unplugged everything when there’s a thunderstorm, it won’t last forever… Well, if you are currently at the office, you might just as well ignore this one as the company will probably replace the computer when this happens hehe… ^_^;

You’ll never know what hits you! But, I do know what hits me… My stubbornness to follow a simple rule about pre-cautions when there is a thunderstorm…

Now…

Now… *sigh and hugs the other lifeless monitor of Leah and Mogi*

Waaaahhh!!! ^_^;

Understand this...

So, We waited… me and my so-called sister waited for the bus to arrive at the bus station. And while waiting I notice this two vendor guys, err… The one who always carry what they would sell… like mineral waters and chips and jumping in and out of the bus that would pass by… Whatever… How can I not notice them, they where so noisy while running back and forth between those other passenger waiting there… others are really quite annoyed at what they are doing but couldn’t do anything or say anything… Why should they? Those guys looks like hooligans… and by their dress…. Much worse… Those guys wanted attention… When they see some good looking females, they would go around and play near that person… So, most of the people that are waiting in there kinda moved to the place where we are standing… And with that… the vendor guys… Damn these guys for I think they are enjoying what they are doing… And doesn’t really care if the people are irritated at what they are doing… And they would say things at the person when they noticed she/he is annoyed/irritated by them… And as I say, the others moved to where my sister and I are… And so, are they… Damn it… Now I’m the one they noticed… for my face shows I’m really irritated… How can I not be? I just woke up a couple of hours ago… and had to stand at this crazy bus stop… It’s annoying already with all the noise of the vehicles passing by and there are still no bus coming for half and hour now… and some of these people are gathering around me… I don’t like crowds really… but these guys thought I was irritated because of them… Now… saying things at me… from a couple of feet away… I hear the other says, “I can beat this guy…” Try that… I said to myself… Now… Why would I not hate this fucked up world? So many individuals are really up to no good most of the times… You would know this, if you were foreigners who had visited this country… heh! I don’t know what’s so interesting about that… I’m not a foreigner… but I don’t really care much if I see one walking the streets… to me, everyone is just the same… I don’t care really… mind your own business… but others would really be in your business around here… most would do anything to have your attention and if you ignore them? They would say things or do things and even sometimes would want a fight with you ‘cause you just ignore them… crazy! Well, better be careful when you want to answer them back… most come in group of vendors… and they don’t really care whether they are right or wrong… It’s not in their vocabulary… ^_^;

Anyway… enough about that…

I think some can relate to this next topic I had… I had a few conversations with my father in the van with the driver a couple of days ago while on our way to somewhere… I’m really not in the mood to go out that day really… Why? ‘Cause I haven’t had my sleep yet… as I was awake all night in front of my computers… I told him that next time he should have noticed me a day so I can be aware of the situation… and fixed my schedule… He said that I should have to sleep during the night… well… I think your known world had just passed… It much more different nowadays like in your old days… there are works that are going on during the nights unlike before, well… if you where living in the province you wouldn’t know that change right? ^_^; I really hate the province… It’s a city now, this place where I am right now… but far from the city I really grew up with… both being called a city but still much different from each other… Yes, there are a lot of Internet café around here… from 8am-7pm at most… yeah… Anyway… people around here kinda wonder at what I am doing in my room and not going out… only when I ran out of cigarette would I go out and they would see me… or If I needed some things that I had to go to the grocery store… ah’ I really missed home and my room in the city really! And I’m usually sleeping during the day… And I would wake up uhm… maybe after the sunset ^_^; People around here doesn’t seems to known a person with a body clock like that ^_^ yah! Keep on wondering… Seems strange to them… back home in the city… 8pm Is just the start of the day for me and my friends… but here at the province… It seems like it’s really late to them… boring really… most are really going to bed at this time… and I’m just out of my bed doing some stretching heheh ^_^; 0h’ better run to the store and buy a pack of my cigarette ‘cause it’s about to close at 9pm… even the store closed that early around here…

My aunt kinda annoyed me and the people around here ‘cause they always gets on my nerve always telling about me being in front of the computer… And others think they knows everything about the computers, when they only knows so little about its world… It’s not just a computer for typing and printing something… It’s the future… a vast world… hmm… kinda reminds me of something… at some late night CNN shows… I forgot what the theme is all about but the subject is about this 3D thing with games and the movie…anyway… one of the speaker tells a story about something that he and his son/daughter doesn’t get to have some quality time to have a conversation or something like that and that he/she is always in front of the computers… And a friend of him suggested that maybe he (the father) should create an account at some messenger and just talk to his daughter/son there… ^_^; and it works… My point is… though I doesn’t go out most of my time, that doesn’t mean I’m just staring at my computers and playing games… even if I’m just playing games… It’s not just a game to me… maybe I’m still hanging out with some friends back home and having some fun with them though we are miles apart… I remember this that even one time… back home while I was online at my messenger that I get to talks to one of my friend who’s already in the states and he asked me what I’m doing right now… And I said “drinking some beers” and he said to wait just a minute and he came back with a can of beers ^_^; we’re still doing what we do together when he’s still here in the Philippines even if we’re online… the only thing we couldn’t do was kick each others ass ^_^ but it still is cool…

Now, back to my father telling me that I should sleep at night… I don’t sleep at night… I’m always been like this since I was in young… I’m beginning to think that I was born at a wrong country with a wrong time zone as my body clock differs from where I am ^_^; I’m usually much more active during the nights… when I’m at the office working from 8am-6pm, I’m much more productive during the later hours… mostly when the sun’s about to set…

There are times when some friends wanted to hang out at some bars near our place… We would usually be home before the sunrise… Uhm… other times the sun would caught us, yup… especially if we are hanging at some female friends house for a sleep over… err… usually we don’t sleep really… we still continue our drinking when we get to the house ^_^; Man, we feels like vampires when going home during the day, as the light of the sun really hurts our eyes… We would run to the door of the car covering our face as if we are like being burned by the heat… and it’s only 7am ^_^;

There are times when I wake up late at night that I’m like a possessed person that I would automatically get out of my bed in be in front of my computers and do this and that… ^_^; back home in the city, I don’t stand up but just reach the keyboard as I just dragged my pc next to my bed most of the time… ^_^ I’m lazy really…. I even had a friend who would forget to change his office clothes first before going in front of his pc, yup… I went to his house one Saturday morning and found him dressed in his office clothes and I asked him if he had his work today… and he looked and laugh at me and said “Nope, I’m still wearing this clothes since yesterday! I still haven’t sleep yet :D”

So, even with all these stories they still wouldn’t understand me really and nobody really knows me … nobody really is, even my so-called relatives and family… maybe a handful of friends, my mom and her daughter… but the rest… Why waste my time on people who had no time and are totally selfish… Who hears things when they are deaf? Who sees things clearly but are blinds? Who like to looks at the mirror always but couldn’t see their own face…

I want the world to change to my own liking but the world is too stubborn to listen to my own little voice… but that doesn’t mean I have to follow the world… I’ll have to be interested first, you know… I’m also stubborn most of the time ^_^;

Computers… Computers… I’m Bored!

I’ve written the title of this section an hour ago and just started to write the main section just now… I’m really bored, I somewhat been losing my interest with the computers as I can’t think of anything else to do with it… Everything seems to be just the same to me nowadays… Ahhh!!!… Oh’ well, might as well revisit my old past memories of the very first time I had my encounter with the computers...

My First Computer

The very first computer I had was this Atari 400 model??? Err… Can’t remember the exact model name as it’s back home and I kinda had this during the early 80’s, I just had to update this when I visit back home… It really is only a keyboard with cartridge on top of it for the game cartridge to be inserted like the “Pac-Man” and “River Raid” game. It’s much like those playstation or xbox which you just attached to your television set and play except for its keyboard and this cassette player that you attached to it, this cassette is acting as its floppy, where you can record your data, you just had to remember the counter number where you record the data in the cassette, much like what we used for some old server to back up data called tape drive…. This Atari kinda introduced me to the world of computer programming as there’s some programming manual including with it like “Introduction to Basic”, “Introduction to Graphics” and “Introduction to Sounds”. Man, how very happy I am just to see how I could plot the screen just by following the manual ^_^; I could draw some stick man on the screen using this language, and then I could add some sounds to it afterwards… ok… ok… I think I better move on to the next one ^_^

286

The next one I had for a computer was this 286 that my mom bought from the office, with this two 3.5 floppy inch disk drive that was attached to it… and you can’t use it without first booting it with DOS… My friends and I used to brag at each other when one of us had a higher version of dos, or one of us had this 1.44m 3.5 inch disk drive. Or later if the computer had a hard disk ^_^, and much later on if it had this windows 3.1 installed to it hehe… We used to play a lot of dos game back then especially this dos version of the NBA basketball game (I forgot the name) and we would attach the pc speaker to this component of my friend though its sounds are only Toink! Toink! Toink! ^_^ But we are really happy that it’s loud and much deeper than without it hehe… And while playing we would do a bet on something while playing this basketball game in the pc, I think someone bet his precious comics collection to Ronald and lost… Was the name of this someone happens to be BJ ALLEN ZAMORA??? LOL, reminds me of something… not related to this though… I think he also lost his playstation to Ronald? Yah! I know this one but I kinda forgotten too how that playstation ended up in my hands, I get to finished the Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9 series on that one ^_^; Well, I don’t have it now! If you want it back… I think Ron sold it already a couple of years back hahaha!!! Now, to this 286… Back then, your computer is really a hot rod if you had this green monitor attached to it and later on the colored monitor… some of the few games back then worth mentioning are, which I think are really cool… This Rouge Game, err.. If I remember correctly this game monster is only identified as just being a character, yup… No fancy graphics… where “@” would equal to something like a really strong monster? That would be really scary back then ehehe… Anyway… The Magic Candle Series and this Prince of Persia… I really got hooked to playing those two games especially the Prince of Persia… I even did cracked that program so I would be able to play it as Neil kinda messed up the original copy we had, good thing he had this hard disk copy but the program is still messed up so I had to do something for it to be playable again… I forgot how I was able to fixed it again, I thought those crazy characters are normal back then when I edited them ^_^; How I would play for the whole day with that game and finishing it a couple of times… err… How many times had I finished the game in one day? Beating my best time, last I remember was more or less than 9 minutes… just a continued running and beating the opponent and jumping and finally killing the Vizier in the last stage (He’s the one right, right?) and saving the princess… never really stopping as much as possible… on when you had to draw your sword to fight Or… until my mom would slapped my head cause I wouldn’t answer her hehehe… Ah’ there’s also this cool horoscope program called “Fortune Teller”, but eventually its date doesn’t support the year 2000 ^_^; Y2K? I’ve kinda checked and downloaded this program somewhere off the net a couple of years back, that’s why I know…

Windows, Modem, BBS and Yes… The Internet…

No, computers still doesn’t interest me back then… Not until I had this computer which is Pentium 166mhz with some kind of Video Card and an ALS 100 sound card attached to it and with it is this awesome new Operating System called Windows 95 ^_^; I think it’s called a multimedia computers back then… costing a lot during those times… oh’ there’s also this card called Multimedia card for playing all those video cd? I think that’s why they called it multimedia :P My friend would usually be awed when they would see that I kinda had two video cards attached to my computer when looking at the back casing of my computer… or so they thought… anyway…

I think I was a bit lazy and bored in my room one night when this shorty friend of mine (NEIL!!! HEY!!! :P) suddenly came to visit me with something in his hands… and he gave me this black colored thing and told me to attach it to my computer… This thing is a 28.8kbps Rockwell modem… sweet! Well, that was really sweet and fast back then hehehe ^_^;

To continue… He sat and tinker a bit with my computer setting, I think he did go to the network connection/settings and created a dial up connection ^_^ … I’d forgotten that scenario but to make it short… He somewhat had hacked an account at some Internet Service Provider, is it ok to tell that ISP Name here? Err… I better just leave it be ‘cause I think they just change their company name besides… I still had this nightmare about something which really scared me, It seems so very real hehehe… but it kinda always reminded of The Terminator movie ^_^… And so, we where able to browse the Internet for free… but it kinda not interest me at that moment… and Igor is really the one who introduced me and had my first experience of the internet (why you always had to be included in my blog? hehehe). ‘Cause he’s the one who really had this first legal account back then… He’s the first one to have an internet account and the net was really not that really in a boom yet, right? Right? He and I (Igor) would usually surf the net at their house for some something and anything that would interest me but usually we kinda always ends up in some gore gallery and with that we would lost our appetite to eat hehehe… Anyway, this is the really fun stuffed for me back then… He told me about the Bulletin Board System (BBS) thing and gave me a couple of numbers to dial using the terminal… War Dialing was it still being used today? Nope, I don’t know that… I just read it somewhere… so, where was I? I was finally able to hook up at this Toyota Motor Company branch which is located near our place, I was kinda a regular client there… I mean that I would usually connect at their Wild Cats BBS and download some of Alicia Silverstone pic ^_^; I think my ratio in upload/download would be 0/10 a day err… more or else hehehe… Well, I also would play this game called Legend of the Red Dragon everytime I would connect to that BBS… It’s really a cool game… BBS is really cool for me up till now… though I haven’t tried connecting to one again…

Anyway… When you are connecting to a BBS… it’s much like the net except it’s really just a text based thing and your time is limited to… uhm… depending on how the SysOp configure their system… 30 minutes seems to be normal… and you could mail other users of that system, post a bulletin, download files, upload, Ah’ before I forgot, might as well say this now… This Legend of the Red Dragon game is really cool as you get to have sex with the other user hahaha… uhm… that’s only between the users game character… well, It could really boost up your experience in the game if the one you asked for accepted your offer… well, you wouldn’t know the answer until the next time you connect, usually that would be the next night as your time really runs out in one connection… Whether that person accepted or rejected you… It’s quite nice when you found out she accepted your request too… uhm… I’m just wondering if there is some female back then that would be into the BBS thing… YIKES!!! Lots of the people I’ve talk to was of the same sex… Man, I don’t know why they would want to talk to me… some would call me during the day and talk about something which I’m bored I remember that even one of the caller, we even get to talk about Kris Aquino ^_^… I gets call ‘cause I also used to be a SysOp, same with Igor… We kinda had our own BBS back then, It’s kinda been a hobby of ours back then… Mine was named “Theatre Des Vampires” yes, after Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles… and Igor’s “Vampires Lair”??? Right? Right? You might want to search the listing of the BBS in the Philippines as I think someone is still maintaining the list… err… The last time I checked, we are still on the list though it’s been long since we operated again… ^_^

We would usually hear each other modem screaming at some late hours of the night ‘cause we usually only turned on the system from 12 midnight till 5am. Some or most of the time… We would connect to each other and annoy each other for a chat with the SysOp… Till he or I would answer… err… just so we could ask each other for a stick of cigarette ^_^; I think I’m the one who usually runs out of stick during the night… and we would meet outside and back in after a couple cigar hehehe… There’s this one time… one of my user called me and are really angry at me ‘cause… err… ‘Cause of the files he downloaded from my system… nope, he didn’t get a virus… but ‘cause of all these pictures he download the other night… It’s all those gory pictures that Igor and I would usually surfed over the web hahaha… I think it really scared the shit out of him… young kid… I think he was looking for something but instead download the other pictures… Well, I found out later when I checked my file area that it was all of Igor’s uploaded pictures with a very well decent and nice comments in each of the pictures files… like “Wow, Legs” when in fact it really is a picture of a bloody cutted female legs or “Awesome Breast” err.. I think you get the picture… no wonder the kid so angry with me LOL ^_^;

I finally was able to be interested somewhere along the way and stop being a SysOp of my BBS and just totally be addicted to the Internet… like chatting at some IRC room… I’d rather prefer the IRC over the YM’ when chatting… yeah right! ^_^; Almost everyone of us from that generation and including my friends started from IRC when chatting… We would usually hang out at some channel that this friend of ours created… err… that would be Neil… He’s also the one who would always be organizing an EB party… Where most of the time we ended up sleeping in his room and Ronald would be vomiting in his favorite boots hahaha… We usually would party at Neil’s house especially when his parents would be going somewhere far away and would be gone for days… We are like the rats of their house, when the cats are away… We party! Anyway… Back to the IRC thing… We would usually talk and chat for awhile including those who are already in the states… then suddenly one of us would be knocked off the channel… How you do that guys? I asked this ‘cause it’s not really a normal boot off and not the Ops… ^_^; It’s annoying how you can’t return at once back to the chat room ‘cause your ghost still roam in there… Still now, I’m still curious about that one… And I can’t forget how Neil would ask one of us, begging us to tell him who erased his entire drive online… I would say… IT’S IGOR!!! Points my finger at him, I suspect he’s also the one booting me off of yahoo messenger, It only happens when he’s online… Something weird would usually happens with my connection once he’s online… I feel like I’m sort of a test bunny for his experimentation… What’s it called? Well, maybe it’s just a thing of my mind hehe ^_^; No wonder everyone are invisible now at YM even though they are online… So, boring… Or is it just my time of going online? ^_^

Well, after all these years, lots have change with the computers but the things you do are somewhat just the same with a different looks and how you do things, but at the end of it all… It is just the same… that is just for me off course. I envy those who are new to the computers as it seems so much fun to them being in front of one, especially watching some of my little niece’s and nephew’s fights over who would be the one to first break my computer (literally). And my computer never look and feel the same way it used to be once they finished err… let’s also include my room on that one. ^_^;

I think I better see Neil again when I get home…Maybe he would be the one to show me something that would interest me again to enjoy being in front of the computer… And makes me blow up my motherboard again, yeah we kinda did that some years back to one of my old computer ‘cause we kinda over and over and over clocked my processor… well, that won’t be necessary nowadays, ne? I’d like to see him ‘cause he’s really the one who like to social eng… err… I mean socialize ^_^; and I’m kinda wondering what are you up to now? By the way… Neil, I kinda added you and erased you intentionally after a couple of days at my friends list ‘cause I kinda hate and don’t like the default picture you had posted in your profile… I don’t trust the face of that picture, with all the wide smile ^_^ besides, I don’t like your sudden invitation, smells like a fish hahaha… Sorry about that… And I already had an account somewhere, so… No need to invite me, I’ll just look for you when I get home! ^_^

The road that had been less traveled have been discovered...

An Introduction…

I have been collecting some Japanese movies and anime for some years now, though most that I bought had been a bit of an accident or by chances when I saw them at store… I’d rather call them self discovering of some sort… I bought them not because I saw them from some television shows, most people would laugh at me when one would see them at my box collection… and makes fun of me… Even the type of music/records I’ve been collecting or playing over my component or pc… not just the JROCK/JPOP but also my other music collections that I’ve been collecting even before I started to be in a band that my friends and I formed way back in the late 90’s… I like to play my music real loud, as “The Cure” would put it in their album “play this music loud”.

I’ve been always in the habit of self discovering what my interest would be… from music, books etc, etc… well, not always… some are introduced by some friends… though there’s a high chance I would totally ignore or forget what is shown to me if I’m not interested, err… Usually I’m not interested… ^_^;

I’ve been influenced by some…

Jon “Slayer” – One of my closest friend, and one of the founder/original member, drummer and bassist of our “Auditory Onslaught” band till he moved/went to the state… and with it our ever struggle to keep the band intact till I and Igor just lost interest keeping the band together… anyway, he’s the one who introduced me to this whole metal/rock scene…I would just categorize the gothic, symphonic, doom, death and everything nice and spicy err… I mean, with metal as “metal/rock” ^_^;

This guy is a big influenced on me on almost anything and my attitude towards everything/anything… or should I just say… makes me even more sinister and darker back then hak! hak! ^_^; Though, I don’t share he’s style of laughter like “Bwahahaha!” I’ll just leave that style of laughing to both of Igor and him… ^_^; I’m the shy type of person you know…

Whenever this guy would to come at our house, he would have a handful of some metal band records from his hands that we would listen to at my room while chatting over something of a dark theme ^_^ hehehe… and with that, I became interested in this type of music, and I find myself collecting these types of music…. For years we would trade and borrow each others collections… now, back then… It was really hard to find a copy of this type of music and it’s even harder to find some info about the bands we like… and the radio are not playing them… So, He and I kinda like to hunt for records label like the “Nuclear Blast”, “Music For Nation” and “Century Media” to name a few, It would be luck if you find one with that type of record label at some record bar, I never pass the opportunity and buy that record without a second thought, just grab it from the shelves and pay… I would usually visit the store once or twice a week, and staying there for an hour or so, searching everything just so I can have a new records to listen to… then my craving would stop for a couple of days… I couldn’t satisfy my craving till I find one and it’s been a trial and error when buying these types of music. Most are really not that worth the money but since we had no choice back then as we couldn’t find a review on things we like to listen to… we kinda just reviewed each other’s collections. Though at some point in time I also began to collect anything that interest me like some classical music from Mozart, Old Rock and Roll… Beach Boys, Simon And Garfunkel, Beatles… etc… etc… Yeah, go laugh at it… But seriously, I kinda had/have a really wide range of taste of interest for music though I find it really hard to have interest in or to like the RNB type of music… Sorry about that…

Igor – Also one of my closest… He’s our band vocalist/guitarist/bassist/drummer uhm… multi talented individuals here… have I missed something? This guy, doesn’t introduced me to anything and doesn’t share anything with me… well, until we talked about it or I would talk about the things that interest me or things I’ve discovered recently and I want to share my new found knowledge and experience with him… Then I would find out that he already knows everything about it… ^_^ crazy…

He let me borrow this black tattered cover book during one of these Christian holiday called holy week when there was still no cable TV, no internet, no cell phone and even phone lines… no nothing… that was the late 80’s or early 90’s? so long for me to remember and during this time there are no television/radio shows aired at the local channels for a week and you are not allowed to play outside or play anything loud or even listen to music… So, you’ll really die of boredom during those/that time… That black book was “The Queen of the Damned” by Anne Rice… And I instantly got hooked reading that book and the Vampire Chronicles… though he already knows I was into vampires and things like that…

Fast forward a couple of years after Jon left for the state, as I was watching something or channel surfing one evening, I came across this concert being shown from this cable channel called wowow, and saw this young female singing…I fell in love with her voice and her song though I couldn’t understand a word she sings ‘cause it’s in Japanese but the title of the song was shown below the screen and it’s called “Endless Sorrow”. And before I knew It, I was watching the whole concert and recording it with my VCR hehehe… I’ve become an instant fan of Ayumi Hamasaki that night. And that kind of started my interest in the JPOP/JROCK scene… Then one afternoon, Igor and I met outside and went to the store for a cigar and some soft drinks… I told him about Ayumi and he laughed and said “Blond ang buhok ano?” (She’s got a blond color hair), What? You already knew about her? And he’s already been into Japanese stuffed long before I even got interested into anime and stuffed like that… Well, as of this day… we kinda traded / borrow each other stuffed… And I’m grabbing anything Japanese especially the horror movies from the video store whenever I could find one… That also includes the Korean horror movies like the “Tale of Two Sister”, "The Phone" ^_^;

What else you have not shared with me but until recently? ^_^ Oh’ the Linux operating system… I think he knows much, much more about this other OS than me… And I didn’t know he’s also into Linux until I saw him online at some late hours of the night at some messenger that I am using besides the Yahoo Messenger with a status of “Testing Different Types of Linux Distro” or something… hehehe… well, He doesn’t shared anything with me but he’s the guy that widened my knowledge on a lot of things… especially with computers… he makes it looks cool at everything he would show me of the things I’ve asked of him… making me much more interested on the things that interest me… besides… I’d rather find things out for myself, making it more exciting…


The Road That Had Been Less Traveled Have Been Discovered….

People would usually, no… that’s not the right word for it… they “always” laugh whenever they would hear me play my music collection, see me watching my Japanese anime VCD, or listening to my JPOP/JROCK… They would usually say or joke around like “oh’ are we in Japan? I think we’re lost…” or “Can you listen to that type of music? It’s just screaming and shouting and noises, you can’t even understand what the lyrics are…” or they would joke around my JPOP/JROCK music by singing/whistling the tune of Voltes V Opening theme, and laugh… But Things are changing now, local channels are showing some of the Japanese Anime dubbed in our own local language like the “Slam Dunk” which are one of the few that really hits to everyone, even the tricycle drivers are stopping by at some store so they can watch it on TV… Utada Hikaru album been released locally in the country so they know a bit of “JPOP” now… Radio Stations are playing a lot of air plays from “Evanescence” so, now you know some more… and most would know “Metallica” now by their album “St. Anger” and loving them while most of us are already cursing them for they already have lost their own identity. Some Ignorant would think the “The Red Hot Chilli Peppers” are a new band hahaha!… I would play this “Within Temptation” or “Leave’s Eye” music and some who hears would say “Oh’ Evanescence?”! ???? Now, Why don’t you just listen to your favorite OPM music… oh’ by the way… OPM stands for ORIGINAL PINOY MUSIC??? What’s so fucking original with that? I can’t stand some of the music in the Philippines being called or labeled as OPM… I don’t see any originality in it… one of the reasons I hate our local music scenes… I would have like some of it… If it’s not for the title of being labeled as OPM… hmm… Anyway… hate me or anything… It’s the fucking truth… I won’t say anything more as some of you might become interested on things or artist I would say here… waah!!!… Go discover it yourself!

Now, I kinda hate talking to these kinds of people as if they know everything there is to know about a certain topic when they’ve been only walking to this road ‘cause they’ve got a map to follow to… I for one doesn’t claimed to know everything about this road though I’ve been walking on this road for years now, and I’m endlessly discovering newer things and rediscovering the old things… I find it much nicer to walk and have a chat with someone new to this road that had discovered it all on his or her own without some guide map to follow… Besides it’s much nicer having a conversation, when both of you are gaining some knowledge and not just a one way… well, I had to end this now… So…


Who’s laughing now? If It’s Igor, it would be something like “wahehehe!!!”, and Jon would be like “BWaHAHAHAHA!!!”, and I would only be giggling! ‘cause I’m shy you know!

Things to do before you can start your new job at your new company..

Every company required you to complete some requirements before you can start your new job like Medical Check-up, NBI, Police Clearance etc, etc…

I would usually start with the medical check-up, go to some clinic that they, the company asked you to go to, I had to be early so I could be the one of the first to be there and finish the check-up early/fast… not!!! It’ll take you a whole day most of the time, even if you are the first one on the line/list… You had to undergo a lot like drug test, blood sample, urine sample etc. etc… I think you’ll be lucky enough if you had your check up at some clinic ‘cause it’ll be much faster but… If you where told to go to at some hospital, I think it would take you a lot of wasted time especially if that hospital is a government one. You had to do this and that first, get lost somewhere ‘cause the laboratory is at some other floor and when you finally able to find that laboratory, you had to wait some couple of minutes, and another couple of minutes ‘cause the attendant/doctor is still not there or still having his breakfast and chatting a bit with his/her co-workers, laughing and laughing and when he/she finally attend to you as if he/she was a bit not in the mood ‘and a bit harsh talking to you cause you are there and are interrupting their conversation or something, now… What the fuck is that? Aren’t they supposed to be there working? As if they only wanted to hang in there and do nothing for the rest of the day… They would ask you this and that… and your done! Finish in 3-5mins, and the time you waited??? 30 minutes or more… damn it! Then after finishing that, you’ll be asked to go somewhere for the next stage of the medical check-up, and where’s that located? Oh’ it’s on the first floor… And where is that on the first floor? Oh’ just ask someone you see down where it is… ah’ ok, thanks…

And so, you go down the stairs to the first floor, it’s for the drug test and urine sample, a lot of people are already there now ‘cause it’s almost been an hour since you first came in, you had to fall in line now, they’ll give you some papers to fill up for that test… and fall in line after finishing filling it up, waiting… and waiting… for a couple of minutes, and another couple of minutes… it seems like the line hasn’t move for some minutes now… already 30 minutes had past once again… and you look at the window, you see only one attendant attending at all this long line of clients and it keeps on getting longer and noisy ‘cause the others are really getting restless now… and you look at the other corner of the room and you can see the other employees sitting at some table next to the divider of the room, they seems to be laughing, they seems to be having fun with their works… but what are they doing? It looks like they are only sitting and having some conversation there with a cup of coffee in their hands… ah’ finally it’s my turn … This guy gave me a bottle and was being told to fill it up with my urine and after doing that returned it to him and I was asked to return a couple of hours for I still needed to have my picture taken, and I told him if it’s ok if I just gave him a picture I had with me? And he said “no, ‘cause it will be taken from the computer camera”, I see, well do I still need to do something after this drug test, he’ replied, “It’s already finished, we only need to take a picture of you”… WHAT? Return here after a couple of hours just so, I can have my picture taken? And I ask this “why can’t I have my picture taken right now?” And he replied “‘cause no one will take your picture now!”… Now, I was beginning to loose my temper now and I think he noticed that and went to the computer and asked me some questions and finally had my picture taken with the camera attached to the computer and It only took a minute or less than that… It was really a quick one… damn those attendant, they would let me wait a couple of hours when it would only be that quick to do… and so, to the next stage of the medical check-up… uhm… usually it’s the same scenario all over again… before you knew it, you’re already done with the medical and just go home after that ‘cause you won’t be able to finish the other requirements ‘cause it’s already past 2 in the afternoon. It’s much better to do next one in the following day, wake up early and be the first on the line ^_^;

The next one you would probably do is get your NBI or Police clearance… So the next day you wake up early and be at some municipality before it opens up at 8a.m. and “again” be the first one on the line… this is just a breeze, it’ll only take you an hour or so, if you are early… all you need to do is fill up some papers and pass it, had your picture taken… uhm… yes, it’s just a quick one… you just had to wait for this government employee to finish his breakfast at his table while chatting with another co-worker… déjà vu… It feels like I’d seen this one before but I couldn’t seem to remember where? ^_^; Anyway, after having done all the fillings-up of the form and the pictures taking while you hold a number in a small blackboard as if you where some sort of a criminal having your picture taken before you went inside to jail, you had to pay at the cashier, and get the stub from the form and you’ll be asked to return in a week to get your NBI or Police clearance (this apply for the new and renewal)… that would be same day, next week… I see… but wait, don’t just leave yet… there’s a rumor going on about that if you want to get your NBI or Police clearance on that same day, you might want to bribe these so-called government employee working at the municipality, maybe a hundred peso bill or two hundred peso bill? I haven’t done this sort of thing so, I’ll just have to wait for next week before I can get my result… but… I’ve seen some do this kind of thing and it works like magic… They’ve got their NBI or Police Clearance that same day, and all they have to do is pay some extra cash and wait some 15 minutes less or so. Now… It makes me wonder, if they can do that, why do we still need or have to wait for a week? When they can process it immediately? This government employee seems to be bored with their works… and usually they don’t smile, most of the time you can see these so-called government employee somewhat rude as if they are mad at you or something when attending to you… it seems or looks like they are acting like a very uneducated individuals ^_^; like they’ve just been hired ‘cause they’ve got some backers whose very big inside that even if they didn’t finished up their high school or haven’t even finished up their elementary ^_^; oh’ well, maybe it’s just my imagination…

SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! I just remember this Jerry Maguire movie… not related to this subject… ^_^

So, What’s next? Give something or thank the person who helped you gets hired in that company once you start your new job, ‘cause without him/her… I think you won’t even have a slightest chance of being hired in there, especially if you didn’t graduate from the some well-known school… Good luck on your new job! Oh’ it’s only for five months? Well, Good luck anyway! ^_^;

BF???... Mariposa...

A private subdivision which is in BF Parañaque and to be exact or for those who don’t know where it is, it is located in phase 4 near Moscow St. err… It’s already in Las Piñas ^_^;

Now, Mariposa was built in the early 80’s??? I’m not sure about the exact year but I think we moved there around 1984???…. Not sure about that too but we are some of the first family to be there… uhm… you might say we are some of the pioneer of that subdivision along with some of my old friends… There’s a bit of a problem when you are from that subdivision… like for example you get to meet some homeowner’s from the other sector of BF… The first thing they would say or ask when they find out your from mariposa is “hey, is that also a part of BF?, ‘cause you just said BF Mariposa?, I thought it ends in Moscow St.” ^_^; and I would usually reply with this “yup, err… I think ehehe” ^_^; tough!

Some of the times it kind of hurts that somebody would tell you that our subdivision was not part of BF at all, but who can blame them? Before, when we moved there… It was so very nice and peaceful for many years till I went to college… Even if you would to go home at 3am-4am walking the street alone to your house… You wouldn’t feel unsafe, even when you see some people drinking from the other street, ‘cause you know almost everyone or if not, they knows you and wouldn’t bother you… The only thing that would make you unsafe is the story of ghost and the one from your house :P nyahahaha!!!

Then comes the late 90’s, some newly built duplex houses from the other streets, there came a new neighbors to the subdivision… The first week of their stay was not really a good impression to our groups ‘cause both new neighbors from that so called duplex house got into a fight with each others, ah’ such noises these new neighbors of ours makes… as if they already own the whole subdivision… looking tough and always getting into troubles… the duplex house kind of degraded the subdivision quality and these people that are living in that type of house are degrading it more… I don’t have anything against them… and some even became a part of our group one way or another at one time… Though drugs are sometimes the issue of why we stay away from them and couldn’t get along well with the others…

Present time… Some of our friends either moved to other places or others rarely stay at home due to work, other’s are already dead and are somewhere hehehe… I for one, was not staying at home for more than a year or years… I already forgotten how long I had been away from home… You could only see me there if there’s something I need to do like, if some friends would call me and wants me to be there when his birthday comes or my mom wants me home at weekends… something like that… besides that… I don’t bother to be home… there are times that even if there is an occasion or something that I wouldn’t bother to be there…

But whenever I can or doesn’t feel lazy to travel, I’ll be there if I’m really needed to be there… Now, whenever I would get to meet some male/female friends who doesn’t stay there like me… The first thing they would say is “There are so many new faces in this subdivision and it feels like that I’m not from here anymore… as if I’m the one who is new here and they would stare hard at me!”… Yes, that’s the typical words some of us who’s been away for quite sometime or are rarely seen going out of the house due to work. Others who’s been staying there are complaining that the subdivision are a total mess now ‘cause of these so called homeowners from the duplex houses or whatever… As if this guys always wanted trouble, not choosing who to trouble with… Some of my friends already got into trouble with them… One was when he was with his girlfriend and someone told something like “you should leave your boyfriend” something like that… Others would be stared at really hard or makes fun of whenever he/she would buy something from the corner store where one would usually see them hanging at nights…

What about this so called “security guards” from this subdivision? Ah’ you could see them at night riding in their bicycle from time to time… The problem with this security guard is that they don’t even know or cannot tell the difference from a homeowners to a strangers… Me and my next-door childhood friend have been asked by these so-called guards where we live? Hmmm… The last time was just a couple of days ago… during weekends when my friend parked his car in the front of their house (which is next to our house) and we got out… He suddenly came and asked us questions… good thing I’m not that in a bad mood due to some idiot who wants to smash my face for reasons as to now I still have no idea or are still unclear… more on that later…But isn’t it obvious that we lived there?. Looking at just how the way we parked the car and how we got out… How many times had this happened to us? But what really was annoying was that they couldn’t do this to some people… aha! Especially to those people who are hanging out in front of our house making noises and drinking at some late hours of the night… I was wondering as to where are these “SECURITY GUARDS” during that time…. Hmmm.. Let me guess, you are roaming in your sleep at some vacant house? Nope?… One more! One more! Please!…. hmmm… Ah’ you are having a shot of liquor down the subdivision street? Or somewhere… chatting privately at some house maid…^_^;

And now… let me tell you this story about someone wanting my face… remember the vacant house next to our house which is almost like it was demolished for rebuilding or something and the only thing remaining is it’s corner foundation and the rooftop, no walls, lights, waters etc… ah’ how many years had this been abandoned and left alone looking like that by its owner? Hmm… hope somebody can send me a picture of that house so, I could post it in here… Anyway… its not abandoned right now ^_^; and it still is as it is from my description… So, who would be living in this house at its current state? I have no idea… where did this habitant come from? I don’t even recognize or have a picture of the peoples face living in this house… Well, typical me… As I always do… “I mind my own business”…

Well, to make this story long I’ll just have to tell the story much longer hehehe… Last Saturday I went home ‘cause my mom told me to, for I was scheduled to have a check-up on something (weeehh… I won’t tell you what this check-up is all about! :P ) but my doctor is still in the state that day so I was re-scheduled on Wednesday… Anyway… I just do things I would or would normally do, all my friends knows this. Whenever I am home that I would sleep, watch TV, sleep, go to some friends house, sleep, watch TV, sleep, friends, sleep, TV… err… you get the idea… So, I end my Saturday doing that… uhm… tiresome isn’t it? ^_^; Anyway… same goes with my Sunday… except me, Igor and Buboy are to meet at around 8pm to go “Ruins” (located in phase 1) to buy some anime dvd and blank cd-r’s… I was watching this Pirates of the Caribbean-dead man’s chest movie at wowow, and I totally forgot the time until my mom came home from the church… so, I called Buboy’s up and told him to meet us in front of Igor’s house… Buboy is already in front of our house when I came out so, together we waited for Igor in front of our house for he is still dressing up or something… I think he just came out of the shower when I called him… Anyway, we waited outside and had a few conversation of something nonsense until Igor’s came out and we hopped into his car and went to Ruins… now, while we are walking around looking for something to buy, my cell suddenly ring… the number is not registered in my cell, but I still answered the call and it was the wife of Buboy… so I passed the cell to buboy and they talked but due to the noise around us he couldn’t understand a word she said and told her to just send a text message on what she was trying to say and so that’s what she did… And the text message was like this, that I should be careful when we go back to the subdivision and that I should never walk the main gate ‘cause some group that are “VERY DRUNK” and very much angry at me is waiting and want to smash my face… and that they came to Buboy’s place looking for me or something like that… hmmm… Now, we kind of guessed at who was that person? And Igor just laughed and told us that “Ignore the message as it was just probably a joke!”, well, I didn’t ignore it and told buboy to text her wife and asked her who the person is… To my mind I think it was Ronald, who came to visit us and was at Buboy’s place, upon hearing that I was there, He made a prank out of it ^_^; Well, that’s what I was thinking at first… But the following message change the way I think of the situation as it looks like very serious now… It tells that the group of drunks who are looking for me was my next door neighbor… Their reason why they wanted to smash my face was this “that almost every time they would have a drinking session, that I would throw a firecrackers next to them and because of that… they got angry and want to get even with me… for a very long time they have a grudge against me” and my reaction?, same with Igor’… It was “HUH!!!??” We where totally surprised upon knowing that… Igor and I, we where both surprised… First, I don’t like firecrackers, haven’t touched one since I was in high school… even on New Year’s Eve… If we had firecrackers in the house I would tell my mom to just give it to Igor ‘cause I won’t light them up… And I would just watch him as he finished lighting them all up. Even if I can light a firecracker, I still couldn’t do the things they said about my action, as I’m not staying at home for some years now… Besides, I don’t care what you fucking guys do as long as you are not bothering me personally… But since you are doing that now, I’m really irate… And I don’t even know you guys or have a picture of your shitty faces… uhm… Are you guys on drugs or something? It’s nice to have a drink and get drunk but don’t put the liquors in your head. Good thing Paddy’s doesn’t live there anymore or he wouldn’t be quiet on this one… Don’t forget that we are a homeowners unlike you guys… I think you should show some respect for the people who are living in that subdivision… I should say… Show a bit more respect! As if you wanted us, the homeowners to be the one who would bow and respect to you guys whenever we sees you. When you are just a visitor from that subdivision… Even the one you are visiting cannot be called a homeowners… I don’t like to say this… but… I think that you shouldn’t even be hanging out in there or living in that place in the first place, as it is a private subdivision. You guys aren’t a legitimate homeowners at all! All you do is make ruckus all the time whenever you guys gets drunk! The reasons you had against me is laughable! You guys wanted to awaken my sleeping dark side aren’t you?

Now, Whenever someone would mention BF Mariposa to his/her friends who is also from the other sector of BF… They would respond now like this “Ah’ BF Mariposa!, I know that place!” ^_^; hmmm… what could that mean??? Mariposa is getting a lot of recognition nowadays! But why is that we all wanted to leave that place and moved to somewhere else?

Oh’ before I end this… I like to know and ask this… Who are the President and the Security Committee of BF Mariposa now? And the other officials? Where are the BF Security Guards, the one who’s riding in their motorbikes at night? Haven’t seen them for quite sometime now… Anyway… So, Are you from BF Mariposa? ^_^;

Something You Might Call A Random Thought....

This is something some might call a random thought but I call this a one's man lazy thought...

zzzz..... uhm.... Anyway... Where was I?

Black is nothing more but a color to some and to others, it is something more... To some, it's their favorite color and to others.... err... They put some meaning into it... Though wearing black is not enough... Whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish.... So that you might be called this or that... Or be in the crowd or group of something... Most of the time.... You will just look really stupid in black... Or be out of the crowd. Ah' I'm not making sense here... Might I just fade into black? If you want to be scary... err... Why not try to be a clown instead? Clowns are really scary, even though they always wear a smile on their face with such a happy and bright colors all over them... I don't like clowns really... I'd rather paint them black ^_^;


Able to play the guitar would make you really cool? uhm... yeah most of the time... But memorizing the chords pattern and positioning of your hands or even imitating your guitar gods is not enough... There's a lot more to that... hmm... that's not the lead to that song? err... ever heard of improvisation? hey' his playing is somewhat not in tune err... You're really one annoying kid are you!? Ever heard of an offbeat? how about a 16 beat? 4/4? how about a rest? ^_^; I forgot to mention that your mama left you a note on the table... read it!, I think it's important. Well, as long as you could play a power chords... oh' a power chords? hmm... Is that when you used the distortion and max out the volume on my amp? Well, I think that would be all right... Why don't you just jump off the cliff err.. I mean riff and I should just mute with my palm err... I mean... mute my mouth with my palm on this one as it is getting noisy... :P


What type of music do you like to listen to? uhm... let me see... I'm into jpop and eurobeat nowadays... or should I just say growing up ^_^; Ah' you fucking lame!!! I'm into this and that... and a lot more... see my grocery list. You're a one lame lost soul...

Ah' damnit ok ok... here's a random list from my decked! It's not in order and I'm looking and writing this one at the same time randomly...

Tiamat: Clouds
Slayer: Reign In Blood
Morbid Angel: Blessed Are The Sick
Cro-Mags: Alpha Omega
Benediction: Grand Leveller
Rostok Vampires: Torment of Transformation
Sarcofago: The Laws of Scourge
Chicago: Greatest Hits 1982-1989 *oopps....I overlooked, but as I've said this is random hehehe...
The Best of Beethoven
Dead Can Dance: Into The Labyrinth *hmmm...
Celine Dion: Falling Into You *fucked it! someone is messing with my collection again! Where's my Thalia's!!!?

Uhmm... I think I should just stop on this one... Or I'll be tempted to dust off my old collections and someone's ass again... ^_^;


What is a ps/2? Uhm... It's a playstation 2! nope, It's a mouse!... a mouse? err... ok, let me just put it this way... If you are a afraid of a mouse then just play with your playstation and don't bother with the mouse running around ^_^; end.


Is Lelio a vampire?... err.. nope, I think Lestat is the vampire. Who's Magnus then? err... Who's that? I know Marius but not Magnus ^_^; Well... What about Bela Lugosi? Ah' He's an actor from the past, much like Christopher Lee. The only difference is that Bela is already dead and Alucard is a walking dead... ^_^;

Someone looks so stupid to others... But to that stupid others eye... You are just an idiot!

I don't like him/her... he/she looks so uncool... err.. I think he/she doesn't like you either (double time) as you seems to have no brain ^_^;

Indeed! that is a one great word.... hmm... That has piqued my interest one way or the other... Let me look up at some other great words to use in the dictionary... Baka desu yo! I only have my Japanese - English dictionary with me!... oh' well... :P

I've heard she/he is rich! err... from what I've heard, His/Her parents is the one who is rich... uhm... Reminds me of something... I've got this friend of mine, He' always err.. kinda been a bit in a habit to throw a 1,000 or 500 peso bill from his pocket, 'cause he thinks it's just a piece of paper. And sometimes, He would leave his car at the company where he is working with 'cause he forgot he had a car, and he's even excited 'cause he gets to have a free ride in his officemate car ^_^; Yah! it's true! But I won't mention his name here. One more, he even thought that his "other" computer is a 286! baka! I'm much more familiar with your computers... I shouldn't have argue with you about your computer specs... or you would have given that other pc if I asked it for hehehe... I'll have to remember that next time... :P

A future destination is what she's really interested in, and you are her ticket to that destination she is dreaming of... She's already set her mind to it err... are you? err... hello? man, you're floating on air... oh' well, with all this talking, and you are not even listening to a single word I say... ^_^;

woah! I'm beginning to think now... So, I had to end this for now... Or it won't be random anymore... :P



Some added thoughts:

Some so-called relative of mine sent me a text message in my cell phone the other night and here’s that message: “What you don’t KNOW will not hurt you, it’s what you SUSPECT that FUCKS everything up.. JS A THOUGHT..GUD NYT…” And so, this is what my thought regarding the message… Are you not already hurt just knowing one side of the story, and that story might not even be the whole truth? It’s what you easily believed from others that fuck your way of thinking ‘cause you don’t bother to know everything. Crocodile’s tears can be very deceiving you know… Be careful when you see one… hmmm… well, I think this is just a thought too. T_T

I’m seeing such a wasted talent almost everyday of my life… too bad…^_^; that nobody from my err… relatives and family enters into the world of show business… I think almost everyone can be a very good actor or actress or even a scriptwriter… Some might even win an award in the “best dramatic actor/actress category”. I think you guys are watching way too much drama series… ^_^; err… me too! Or else… how can I criticize you with all your acting if I don’t watch all these good drama’s ^_^;

After Midnight Visitation...

It's only past 10 in the evening, ahhh' nothing to do and I feel so tired. Just got home from school and still finding my bed blanket turned over up to the top where my pillows are... this is for the third night in a row now, maybe i should ask the maid why they had to do this, and i went to the kitchen where my mom and the maid are having some chat.And neither of them had any idea why my bed is like that and they even thought I'm the one who's doing that and even told me that if its not me then maybe it's Christopher Idea of getting even with me... hmm... well, Christopher is one of our persian cat, he' couldn't have done that as it was turned really neat and its more of a human than a cat that would do that... well, better get to bed now as my eyes are getting heavier by the minute.

Lying now on my bed and it's been an hour or so, I think... but i'm having an uneasy feeling and i'm somewhat between sleep and awake state, and still quite aware of what's going on around me. That my mom is in her room now next to mine as I could hear her television set to a bit much higher volume than mine and still watching the same show she would watch everynight before going to sleep... ahh' too tired to open my eyes and tried hard to have a deep sleep but there's also something catching my attention... it's our dog barking at something and running back and forth around the house for quite sometime now,and I'm really way to tired to even open my eyes or to shout at the dog to stop barking...so,I kinda leave him be but there's also something else... while in this state... there seems to be people having a quarrel at this time of night... maybe from the next house after ours but it couldn't have been from there as the house next to my bedroom windows had been abandoned for some years now, But I could hear this man's voice arguing over something with this other person but I couldn't quite understand what his words yet it was very clear... but I'm beginning to fall into a deep sleep now...

It was really late but I've been awaken by this calling of my name by this person whom I think is in front of our gate 'cause his voice seems to be coming from there... "Ah' keep your voice down or you'll wake everyone in this house and not just me" I said to myself, as I thought he's one of my crazy friends, yes maybe he is as i've met some of them earlier this afternoon on my way to school and even invited me for some drinking session later in the evening as we usually does almost all the time... I've somehow forgotten about that or else I wouldn't be home that early... well, he's still calling my name, what time is it? so I looked at my TV which I always leave turned on whenever I'm in my room or even when I go to sleep and is some distance away from my bed, I think it's 2am now 'cause now MTV is showing Daria or something this animated show is called... its been that long for me to remember, and it just started and always shown at 2am. Now back my attention to this friend of mine who's calling me at this late hour, but the voice?... He couldn't have been one of my friends 'cause his voice is not familiar with me... then something of a shocked came to me, He' entered the gate and into this second gate of our porched and I'm like "You asshole, You'll wake my mom up if you call me by my window", my friends usually does this almost all the time whenever I wouldn't come out but not like this time of night and not when my mom's at home. But a more shocked came to me when i've felt his presence stopped at the main front door of the house, and he somewhat had entered and it seems he just went through the door without opening it and now moving fast and inside the house went straight to where I am, into my room...

There he is, the man who's been calling me. He's standing now near the foot of my bed, blocking the light from my TV set which is behind him now. I'm still shocked that he entered the house, then suddenly he spoked to me at the same time pointing his finger at me and he said "See, you're still awake... why hadn't you answered my call?", and I'm like dumbed, and answered "HUH?", then he continued to speak saying "I only had something to tell you..." and he moved closer to me... now, I'm still a bit shocked at this person... as he moved closer to me, I tried to look at his face but it seems just a blank space, or should i say just darkness. This face of this person even if i tried hard i couldn't see his face... I wasnt' scared a bit that time even if I couldn't see his face, but shocked... I'm shocked at his boldness to enter the house... and even passing through at the gates and the doors without even opening them... but what really scared me and realized that he's not a person or a human at all had let my hair stand on the back and only noticing the first time as he was walking nearer... besides that I couldn't see his face and his appearance are somewhat of just a silhouette, somehow I manage to look down and take notice of his feet... and what I saw really scared the shit out of me... He's feet... He's not walking on ground but floating... Oh' man, what to do? what to do!? and he's coming nearer and nearer at me... and his face... I couldn't still see his face...ah' he's not a person at all... now he's beside my bed looking down at me and my heartbeat going faster and faster... as he slowly bent over so he's face would be close to mine... He's face stil blank even by that near distance... I am now gasping for air, and I couldn't move a bit now but trembling and my body tremble with fear from the sight I am seeing now and all I could do was shut my eyes real tight... I could feel his face now, so close to mine and he move so that he could whisper into my right ear... he said something that was so clear in words but I could not understand it, like a million voice had been whispering at the same time at a clear rate but not... as if you are at some public market where everyone shout so clear but they kinda shout at the same time and so it's somewhat been unclear to my ears... and as he was whispering something, my whole sorrounding was engulfed from this wind like it's a storm of something, then it all suddenly came to a halt... the quietness of the night sorround me once again... this thing, he seemed to be gone now and... and now, I'm still trembling with fear and sweating a lot... And I could see and hear the low volume of my TV set once again... now the animated show on MTV had just ended, I know this as I am looking at these names scrolling from the tv screen and I still find myself unable to move... 30mins had past since the start of that experience... all is quiet but I didn't go to sleep for another 2 hours or so, until I heard our maid woke up and do her regular duty every morning...

Even though it all had happened some years back from now, As I'm writing this section... the hair on my back would still stand as I recollect my experienced from that... His silhouette features still somewhat been fresh from within the back of my memory after all this years ... As if I could still see it very clearly if I think about it... well, just one of the few exciting experience in life. But I don't like to remember them all at the same time nyahaha... maybe next time...^_^;

Kami Pa Din Ang Champion!!! waaahhh... hindi!!!

waaahhh... wala kwenta! may sakit lang kami ni Pat, Injured lang si Mr. Panlaqui, si Mr. Nepo hindi nag laro kasi inaway ng blue team, uu tutuu un! ^_^; tapos ini-inis si Bubsy ng mga oldies sa bench at sa inis ni Bubsy, sabi nya "Next Time, ayaw kona ng meron mas matanda pa kay Rhenz sa team" uy! mas bata ako kay Rhenz!!! wooohooo, pasok pa aku! ^_^; kaya hindi na nag coach at nag parang buddha nalang si Bubsy nun last quarter nun game? Tapos nag pormang player na nga lang ^_^; sabi ni Rhenz un ha! hehehe...

Un mga guard namin, Si Raul, na sobrahan lang sa pag jogging ng 3pm kaya medyo naubusan ng lakas, tapos si Jello... uhm... may stiff neck lang, kaya lagi sa sahig naka tigin pag nag dri-dribble habang nilulusutan ang 5 player ng blue team(kaya nyo un? terible 'tong batang toh! pinagalitan pa aku kasi si Lino nasa ilalim instead na aku), pero alam na alam nya kung nasan ang ring kaya ok lang ehehehe... ^_^; tapos si Em's, tsa' team mates pala tayo! Natuwa ako nun nakita kita! ^_^; baket nun ka lang naglaro! ok pala un gf u ha! este... ok sana pala un team kung lagi ka andun, kasi mas malakas tau! ^_^; ipapasok na nga sana agad kita nun pagkakita ko palang sa'yo kaso baka daganan aku ni BUBSY! ^_^; tapos si Furances!!! huy! nag ch-cheer ka ba samen? iba un pinapanood mu nun game, uhm... pakiramdam ku lang un best buddy! eheheh... ^_^; hindi ka na umalis nun last game ha... baket kaya? ^_^; Si Mr. Arbolado... sayang kung nag papasok lahat nun tira nun... bilib din aku dun sa tatay ni ke-lloyds eh... madalas ku nakikita libre un eh... di ku lang mapasan ^_^; ayaw gumalaw nun kamay ku, na sho-shocked kasi aku, expected ku si Pat or Rhenz na un ehehehe... ^_^; ano kaya sekreto nun at laging na lilibre sa court? kelangan matanung ku minsan, kung paanu nya nalulusutan buong team ng blue... o' sha' nawawala na ulit un bisa nun gamut ku sa lagnat, bwisit... 1 week na toh ah... uhm... Ano ba un tinuturuk kay BJ pag game? gumana din kaya sa trangkaso un?

Anyway... GUD MURNENG!!! la...la... la... la... pero maganda din un may trangkaso, parang may lumulutang na mga chicks sa kwarto ku... hanap nga si Furances nun isa eh... pangalan nya Emily Rose! kaya lang parang iba un boses! ^_^; Furances! dalawin ka daw nya mamya 3am hehehe.... :P Hi Rhenz! wala ako masabi sa'yo, ganda nun laro mu! Kasing ganda nun nakikita ku sa court!!! ^_^; wala na ba liga? Lapit na aku makundisyon ng 100%! ^_^; nga pala... tugtog kami Igor sa Sunday ng acoustic ^_^; maki sing along kau ha! ^_^;

Your body is a wonderland.... ^_^;

ampf.... pang third na ulit ku na toh ah... ang kulit kasi Igor... sa SATURDAY PALA KAMI TUGTOG... kasama namin un guitar namen hehehe... tugtog kami ng "Boso Nova", un fave na music ni Furances tsaka TORO!!! :P

A Vampire In Every One Of Us

From Lilith to Vlad Tepes and even Judas Iscariot from the 12 Apostles to Jack the Ripper… We search for something that is so called a vampire, we wanted to find out whether they really do exist or not, and I say… Vampires do exist… Just look in the mirror, can you really see yourself in there?

We are the vampires; every one of us is… since the very beginning… We feed on each other, we haunted each other down, stalking and killing each other… Letting no one knows of what we do as possibly as we can for others might hunt us down first before we can get to them. It’s in the human nature to get even really… ^_^;

Living in a perfect harmony with destructive mind among ourselves… And from time… We learned to create our own monster with ease but eventually… You would usually just like to laugh, insult and look down on your creation, carelessly and without affection you had led that monster to destroy itself for the meaning of existence is nonsense… And if you’re lucky enough not to be destroyed by your creation… Well, you can just create another monster, right? Hmm… let’s see… that one… looks really kind of stupid… we can make a new monster out of that one… call on the others to make witness to this new creation…

Looking distortedly at history to hide what we truly are or even hiding what our true history really is… and what we are back then… and what we humans are now… Are really all the same… Then and now… nothings changing really… except the scenery of course…and maybe the law… if there is really one…

We like to feed ourselves from others… Not with blood but with money… Even exchanging our freedom and abandoning or going against everything that are precious to us like family, friends etc… sometimes we even forget what true emotions are… What you have now is nothing but a mask and underneath that is nothing more but a decaying corpse… You, yourself are already dead amongst the living, yes… Breathing but are you really sure you are still alive? Do you still feel anything? Do you still remember us after accomplish the things you dream of? It only seems to be that you remember all of us but it is not… You are not that same person anymore but something else though you try to hide it from everyone else… Looking in your eyes, I see nothing but a clouded image… It seems that you try to control this new found strength you got right now from drinking into others and lingering in their company but as each passing days, you are growing weaker, in mind and everything else, including your reasoning… And you only think you are gaining something but in reality… You are loosing everything… You are nothing but a puppet of your own dream after you made it come to reality… You can’t even control your new found strength and are blinded by your new found light… Though you always see a light in your eyes, it is not the light of the sun that is shining but something else… Feeding yourself too much is not good for your health ^_^;

We also like to feed ourselves from the emotions of others… We don’t like to be alone in our misery… As that would be very lonely… So, instead… We feed on others emotions as well… We like others to be in the same state as ours… To be weak and miserable also… Why should you be happy when you can be miserable like everyone else… That would be so unfair, don’t you think? So, we drag everyone else down … We give and take… We share… Now, aren’t we becoming a real human because of this? But I think you’re a usurper… ^_^;

Well, what about a coffin? Hmm… I think this closet will do… Oopss… Wrong closet… as there’s someone skeleton here… Hey! Is this your skeleton? :P

Lots more but I’m beginning to be lazy once again, I might still edit this… *yawn*

A Dream Of Two Old Sisters...

As I lay under this big shaded tree near the road leading to darkness I fell asleep and dream…

In my dream there are these mischievous souls of two old sisters, small they may seems to be but their powers are beyond any human being could endure… One of them could speak with lightning bolt coming out of her mouth … that, if you are not aware of… well, could hurt you really bad if you don't know how to dodge it. And her eyes… the most grotesque you could see, she likes to look at everyone behind their back and her eyes would almost come out of their sockets, then it would return to normal in time when someone looks behind their back… one the scariest moment of my dream is to witness her doing that to some human…She also had a young host, yes… it's a small young host that she commanded to poke her nose at everyone's mind and tell her what she finds out about. This host are a bit stupid at times and could easily be tricked… And she could also trick her master so easily; I don't know which one of the other had a better brain… I find them both stupid and annoying!

So, I turn my attention to this other sister… ah' a very prayful soul, always praying when she had nothing to do and all alone… but beware this one had master the arts of deceiving… yes, she could deceive almost anyone… she loves telling stories that are so tall that every time she speak you'd either submit yourself or kill yourself… well that is if you already know the stories but if you haven't… oh' well… to bad for you then, 'cause you'll be deceived so easily… and she can take advantage of that to corrupt your mind… and use you to kill someone from your mind…

These two sisters also had the power to speak among themselves without anybody near them to hear what they are talking about but they are kind of both really stupid most of the time, that some of the people could hear them really well… and when they noticed that they've been heard, they would suddenly speak in normal, dance, do cartwheel or immediately do something else like they are not talking to each other… something like that…

These two sisters could turn from a total mischievous soul to a totally stupid looking tame cat in an instant once they see their brother who, once in a while would visit them to where they dwell… their looks seems that they could not break a single thing or harm a human being and are really, really quiet and friendly, like they are really that close to each other and likes human being so very much… ooohhh! And their smiles… their smiles reached both ears that it seems like their mouth could have a tear any moment… maybe because they get their rewards and all the things they needed from that big brother of them…

As I try to observed them more… A sudden flash of lights attracted my attention and tries to find where it's coming from… and as I saw the light… I'm back to reality and under this nice big tree… Oh' well… better start walking again… ^_^;

If Only I Could...

I would love to grab you by your neck and choke you to death
Your tongue is sharp like a newly crafted knife
Yet your mind is dull as a stoned used for a knife by the cave man
in the past…That can ripped out flesh, even the thickest of them all…

It is clear, as daylight can be and I can't see any fog around…
Yet your vision seems to be clouded…

Yet, you amused me though…
As if you had a clear picture of everything…
Yet you stumbled when you walk…

So leave me be to my own little dark world…
Darkness it is but much clearer than your world is now…

No wearing of a beautiful mask like in your world is…
Everything is real unlike your beautiful world is…

You're beautiful, like a perfect apple…
With a worm on the inside…
I don't want an apple with a worm
And so I'll just throw it away

To the river you would flow
To where it may lead you, I don't really care…
I just like to watch an apple as it floats away…
And so I say goodbye to you …

I've met this Lady and she… well, let's just say that she had given me quite an inspiration to write this one though we just had a few conversation …

She's not that bad, I think… she's so cold err… I mean cool but a bit sharp at times though she does not have any fangs ^_^; (I think she's annoyed LOL) but who am I to judge? I'm no GOD and don't intend to be one… I'll be much more bored and much more lazy than what I am now if I am to be a GOD now ^_^; anyway, this is nothing more but an idea and bit of what I've felt but nothing against her as I've said, this is just an inspiration from her and I had to thank her though but I'm scared of her now LOL ^_^;… I need to edit this more but I'll leave it for now… and who would be reading this anyway? Boring people like me? ^_^;

Dreaming My Life Away...

Sometimes my mind is much in a weaker state that I'm about ready to give out my life and rather leave this miserable life I am living in right now…how could they understand me when they don't really know me even if we are related in blood, all they could think of is themselves, truly selfish… all of them! Why waste my breath and strength on people who are deaf and blind except to things they wanted for their own… I'm losing blood in silence each passing day that I feel so tired and weak that I am unable to eat normally… making me dizzy and vulnerable to sickness as my immune to these disease are weakening, I demand to be rid of this shell that I am in right now so as to be at somewhere else if there is one…

This place or this world should I say, is a one big masquerade party where everyone is wearing a mask, hiding their true faces from everyone else. Only a few really shows their true face and most who doesn't enjoy this party at all, but the rest are really into it and couldn't really live their lives without this grand party of all… I've outlived most of my family member and thinking about it makes me really sad and want to cry most of the time when it comes to my mind, not that I couldn't see them, talk to them, or touch them anymore but sad that I am still breathing, how I envy them being dead to the world… I've said to myself that I'll only lived for 27 years, and damn it for my calculations are wrong… I've wanted death for a really long time, natural death that is, be it by too much drinking or too much smoking, and by the way… it's quite normal for our family member to die by that 'cause, usually it's the male side but I think the female side are catching up in my generations and the next ^_^; so, I'll be much much more happier to die by that cause but instead it somewhat evaded me and others got to die when they really are not into it… why is it like that?

Ah' such is the life of this world. Don't mistake me for others who doesn't live their life to the fullest… man, I've lived my life and enjoying it more than anyone else… its just that… I think I've done it all *scratch head* way to fast that most humans ^_^; and most really at the same time… but I kind of always wanted that since I was a err… whatever… I'd better start walking again to this so-called road to darkness… I've wasted enough time writing this one… I might fall asleep again ^_^;

I've Come To A Strange Place...

I've come to this strange place… familiar yet it is not… The sun shines brightly during the day yet it is dark that almost everyone can't see in it, The night is so dark in here that you have to crawl like a blind man to move around, yet to them it is like daylight… knowing and seeing everything…

Speak or shout louder for that is how they communicate with each other for they are like deaf… but in whisper they would talk normally… the real world is like a nightmare and the nightmare is the real world… you'd rather not be awaken for you'll be living like hell once again… sometimes I would believe that I am in hell already, if there is one… tormenting, slowly killing you from within… they are like a vampire that visit you every night while in your sleep and slowly draining you of your life energy with each visit… if this keeps on happening, then I'm afraid I would not last long enough to find out what I seek in this road to darkness… must escape this place as soon as possible…

But I must first sleep now, thinking and writing about this one makes me so tired and sleepy once again ^_^;

Come Play With Me For Awhile...

Come play with me for awhile…
Meet my demons and angels

In war with each other for eternity…
Or maybe as long as I breathe...
they will be…

In harmony they existed within me…
Torturing me endlessly…
Whispering and whispering…
Till I would hear one of them…
Then they would stop…
For a moment…

Who would I hear now then?
Who would win this time?

Come play with me for awhile…
Bring your demons and angels too…

And so, as I watched this man standing in this big carved stone which seems like an altar and he's facing that ocean… repeating those words over and over again… I couldn't help myself but ask him what he is doing? He looked at me and smiled… and said "ah' just keep quiet and watched this…" then he continued with what he is doing…

This goes on for quite sometime… as I was beginning to get bored and thinking of walking away… suddenly he stopped, I've felt a sudden change from his presence. Then slowly, he turned around and stared at me… his face seems to have changed… there's something within him now, that I am sure… something inside controlling this body now… "So, the demon wins after all…" this I said to myself… and he smiled at me as if he had heard me… spreading his arm wide and floating now to be near me… with all my guts… I stand and run away from him…

Never looking back and running as fast as I could. But still… I couldn't get far away from him and I feel that he is just behind me all the time… almost able to grab me if he wished to do so… but he seems to be playing with me… letting me run and run till I came across this church… and within this church, there are two nuns… as I saw them, I shouted for help… and as I came running near at them, catching my breath really hard… looking up at them… I saw their faces and smiling at me… one of them asked, "what's the matter?" and both of them suddenly grabbed me by my shoulder but I was able to set myself free from their hands… they are not nuns after all… as I turned and ran for the door that leads outside this church, a priest suddenly came in praying… and I shouted for help again… but his presence suddenly change, he's the one who's after me in the first place… and he laughed and laughed so hard that it echoed inside the church, making me closed my ears with my hands as it hurts so much… "Let me whisper something to you… would you hear my voice?" he said.

And so, I ask this now… would you play with me for a while? ^_^;
But… I'm somewhat sleepy right now. So, maybe next time…

Walking On This Road...

For what you know... I might only be playing tricks on you as you have only seen the surface of what I've made known to you... for you do not know or really understand what's on my mind when I showed you these things...

So, judge me not for I might be more evil than you could ever be... discovering something in the forgotten past of truth as some might have called it... is only a fragment of what makes me descend even more into this road to darkness that I am traveling now...

Believe in what you believed and I shall do the same but do not force me to be like you for I have my own mind to decide to what I should believed in. I don't need some company or advise to take along to whatever path I choose to walk as you or that might only be a hindrance in the end... do not be fooled by the simplicity of my appearance for I might be more striking or more revolting than you could ever laid eyes upon on your entire existence to this so called world... I could be any of that If I wanted to or both at the same time...

Hmm… this road is quite rough and uneven, makes me easily exhausted and sleepy… oh well, I'll just rest for now… ^_^;

What My Eyes Feeds Me...

I've fallen hard to the ground from the clouds high above… stripped out of my power and with broken wings I've come to this world… no memories or recollection of who I am or what I am, or even where I've originally came from… as I opened my eyes for the first time in this world and see those two faces of whom I don't even know, as the days would pass only to know they would be the one I would call my mother and father… years would pass and they would be my so called teacher to this world I've come to love and hate… knowing what's wrong and what's right in this crazy world, yet in the end I would be the one to decide for myself…I would have my own beliefs and I myself would find the truth in what I believed in…

Climbing high above this mountain where anyone would feel as if they are on top of everything else, I'd sit and watched silently the world below, away from everyone… I would see chaos and beauty, happiness and sadness, war and peace, how the light and darkness would divide the land… seeing what the people do in this world and their everyday life… and from time to time I would find myself laughing even though I am alone… these people are interesting and funny, yet most of the times I would find them very irritating… and the others? Hmm… boring as a puppet. Humans! They all think they are always on top of everything, the truth, the godly, the supreme, the righteous, the most beautiful and intelligent of all… yet when no one sees them and think they are all alone they would do the opposite of what their mask is showing to everyone, and revealing their true features… and they seems to be attracted to this darkness, and liked to be in the dark most of the time… hmm…and in that, I'm somewhat been drawn to this darkness… finding it quite… interesting…

Well, I'd just sleep for now… whoa! Why are you reading this? ^_^;

I Live My Own Life

When people grow old err… I don't know if everyone is experiencing this? :P, anyway… to continue. Ha' and I was just at the beginning of my life story ^_^; the earlier days of my life on this world, even though I don't think about it… It comes to my mind more often nowadays… I think it only happens to people who are about to depart to this world, right? Err… Maybe I am about to, soon or I'm just really being lazy nowadays ^_^; Or maybe 'cause I usually see my old music/records collection. Letting me reminds the old times where I would usually wear black and do some crazy stuffed... ^_^;

Nowadays, I almost don't have any black clothes collection 'cause at one time, this maid of ours… Before she left the house while everyone was away, took almost all my clothes from the closet I used to wear and collect (especially some of my favorite shirt grrrrrr!)… Cursed her wherever she may be, good thing she didn't take my underwear's... ^_^; Because of that incident, I lost interest, now… More things from the past are coming to my mind while I'm writing this one…

Maybe this isn't really a good idea… anyway, I think music is really into my blood for my father used to sing at some band during his teenage/single days, uhm… I really think that my father had a very different definition about that "single" word ^_^; and most of our family/relatives are a member of church choir ^_^ nice, right? Even now… Some of my aunt used to sing and gets called a lot at services, one of the reason I hate answering phone calls to where I am right now is that I already knew who the call is for, and its' not for me… uhm… Most of the time it's for my aunts, asking them and their choir to sing somewhere… their singing is really in demand here at the province, I think they sing for the dead ^_^; man, I forgot what's that service is called hehehe… LOL :P uhm…

Let's forget about me mentioning about that blood thing running through my veins, to continue... I grew up not at my father's house err. But at one of her sister who lived in the city, who had a daughter and we would usually play together whenever they would visit the house when I was really young, and they've kind of decided to take me along and lived with them, so her daughter would have a playmate… Do I look like a doll or something? ^_^; Well, In other words… They've kind of adopted me and my aunt somewhat became my mother (still is, and the only one I've come to know and respect) I lived and study there… Man, how proud they are of me during my primary days at schools… I was always at the top 10 in the class back then… I even got a bronze medal for joining the drawing competition… uhm… I think that was in 4th grade, yes… I got a medal for being a third placer… out of some err… 3 contestant who joined that drawing contest… And me being one of them heeheee…. ^_^; And during my 6th grade, I also joined the singing competition in school… Yup, the blood in me boiled once again… But this time I didn't get a medal, or even the first round… There where more than 3 contestant who joined that contest… it was really tough for me that time ^_^; After that?… I kind of just concentrated at just being a member of the school basketball varsity team… And graduated from grade school and went to high school… Just being contented at playing basketball…

I'm still doing good in school during the first year but I by then, also learned how to drink beers and anything alcoholic and smoke a cigarettes, this was my cousin fault during the time where he stayed in the house transferring to a university and still looking for some place, he left his cigarette at my room…Making me curious about that one, so I kind of stole one from his pack and went at the back of the house, and after that I went to the store and bought a pack myself, man… How I tremble with fear and very much nervous, and sweaty buying my first pack of cigar hehehehe… well, I get to taste a beer when I was still 5-6years old, damn cousin of mine who I think was my father then 'cause my father as I've said earlier was somewhat busy with some things like being in a band playing somewhere and making me a sister(again) ^_^; not sure about what he's doing then as I was still a child but I was sure of the sister thing LOL ^_^; well, I'm a bit happy about that but I'll be much happier if my sister would be half Japanese ^_^; But that's ok, though a Japanese sister would be nice, err… But I think she's made in Japan(just kidding) hehehe… Both of us the youngest… err.. I think… uhm… not too sure (again) about that though LOL :P good thing I'm on a different account here, except for some… none really knew I had an account here. I love blogger.com!

Anyway... To continue, I began to drink regularly, almost every night… Going home for just a couple of hours sleep (1-2hrs) and waking up just in time to go to school at 7am… My grades begins to drop and my spot at being a top 10 in class declined during my 1st year, though I'm still in, I just kind of hang from the top 10 with some other 2 classmates, me hanging on their feet till my name vanished from the list… And somewhat, I've lost interest on almost anything about school… I'm cutting classes more and more each school year, by the 3rd year I'm totally not into school anymore… I would usually go to school at 6:30am, 'cause at that time you where still allowed to go out of the campus, and my mom would walk me till I get inside the gates ^_^; I had to really wake up and go to school much earlier, and after she left I would also leave the school… Leaving my bag in the classroom or the guards wouldn't let me out… So, my bag is always present at school but not the owner… And my classmates would wonder where I am and would look and look for me, they would be going and looking to some higher seniors classroom 'cause most of time I hang in there 'cause of my friends and… What about my bag? Usually I would talk to some of my friends from the village to bring my bag home after school but most of the time it's my annoying female classmates who would do that and wouldn't hand the bag over to my friend… 2 or 3 of them at times, they would be at the front gate of our house with my bag…

But during the weekends it's my professor and advisor who would be at my front gate looking for my mom and me 'cause they haven't seen or heard from me in school… For ages… And exams would be near ^_^; uhm… I usually take special exams, err… 'Cause I kind of missed it… Intentionally! ^_^; And they would let me take it to some library where I would be alone so nobody would help me from my classmates, and usually this watcher of mine would leave me 'cause it takes me forever to finish all the exam ^_^; It's the library... Lot's of books, or if not in the library, some of my professor would let me sit at the back of his class so he/she could personally watch me taking his exam… But I almost knew everyone from whatever class especially from my batch ^_^; I don't linger much from the crowd and likes to be silent and alone in my chair during class and talking to no one but that doesn't mean I don't have that many friends, usually I'm just bored or sleepy that's why I'm like that.

Then, at the end of my 3rd year in high school, one time at this canteen where my friends and I used to hang out when we cut a class (almost all the time), I've found and read this music magazine featuring the Guns n' Roses with their album Use Your Illusion I and II, it somewhat piqued my interest and so the next time my cousin and I went to the mall, I visited the record bar and bought the 2 album and listened to it at home… With that I began to have interest in playing the guitar and letting me stay for a total of 7years into high school before I was finally able to graduate ^_^; Secondary level here in the Philippines are only 4 years (usually) so I get some extra 3 years ^_^; … Anyway, since having a piano lessons during my younger days (I kind of hate it back then, and would usually fall asleep waiting for my turn), shifting my musical knowledge from the piano to guitar was somewhat smooth. But that's another story…

I got the title of this from one of the songs of "Dreamaker" album "Enclosed". Check it!!! ^_^;